Spoon Theory: What is it & How to Use it?
Spoon theory is most often used to describe how chronic illness affects energy levels. It’s not that you are lazy or dramatic. For some of us, energy is limited and we literally run out. By the end of this blog post, my hope is that you can approach today with a little less shame and a lot more understanding.
Imagine when you woke up today there was a cup full of spoons next to the bed. The spoons represent your total physical and emotional energy for the day. Once you use a spoon it goes in the dishwasher. All day long spoons transfer from your cup to the dishwasher. When you’ve run out of spoons you might feel exhausted, overwhelmed by decisions, unable to socialize, quick to tears/anger/confusion. To make the dishwasher run, you go to sleep. The next morning you wake up and find the spoons replenished in your cup.
Sometimes you wake up with 10 spoons. Some days you wake up with 6. You need to approach each day differently, which is okay and now you understand how/why. The “why” is simple; I have less spoons today. When you’re able to accept the spoon count, you don’t have to waste energy trying to pinpoint all the factors. It’s about acceptance rather than making excuses.
Can Spoon Theory help me?
Spoon theory might be helpful to you if you answer ‘Yes!’ to any of these questions:
Do you ever finish your entire to do list?
Does that feel impossible?
Does your energy level vary from day to day? For one week each month? Does energy vary with the seasons or semester?
Is it hard to predict how you’ll function at the end of the day?
Do you often break promises or cancel plans?
Did it seem totally do-able while planning?
Yet day of, does that fun “easy” task suddenly feel overwhelming and impossible?
Do you have a chronic illness?
Do you relate to posts about neurodivergence?
Do you have periods of feeling down or depressed?
Are you looking for new ways to plan your day or get more done?
Examples:
Task: “I need to eat dinner.”
Solutions based on spoon count:
🥄 In stock & ready to eat: granola bar, cold leftovers, prepackaged food
🥄🥄 Little assembly: reheat leftovers, make a sandwich
🥄🥄🥄 Multiple steps: Order your usual for delivery, Go to nearby quick service (e.g. food truck, Wawa)
🥄🥄🥄🥄 Requires decision making: Browse on delivery app, use a new recipe
🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄 Requires effort, time, & decision making: cook meal & eat it after, go out to a full service restaurant
“I usually have 10 spoons. What do I put on my to-do list?”
Step 1: I usually have 10 spoons. How many do I have right now?
Step 2: Do you have options? Assign each one a spoon count.
(if you have the spoons): think about what must get done today, I want to do today, and I’m willing to try today.
Step 3:
Planning ahead = Mix & match. Do your best to add up to the total spoons. It’s okay to have some fun and play around with different combos (Tip: add 1 spoon to account for the transitioning between tasks. That takes energy too.)
Spontaneous = use Step 2 as a menu. Each time you feel ready to take action check in. What’s the current spoon count? What from the menu can I choose?
On a day when you have the spoons (energy), work on step 2 for tasks you do regularly. Future you will thank you. On low spoon days, this tasks might feel really hard.
What do I do now?
You’ve got some information, now it’s time to actually use it. Here are some ideas of where to start.
Talk to a therapist who can help you navigate these changes, implement spoon theory for daily planning. A therapist can help you see how spoon theory applies to other parts of your life: past and present. .
Practice self compassion. Whether this is your 1st for 5000th time reading about Spoon Theory, you deserve some credit. This isn’t easy. Sure Spoon Theory can make life easier. What it can’t do is magically make every day consistent or high energy.
Try it out yourself. Pick a number to start the day. Track how you feel after each task and assign it a spoon count. Now you’ll have a better understanding of what a spoon really means to you.
Find community. If you have a diagnoses, finding a support group can helpful. Getting a diagnosis is a privilege. Everyone is entitled to community. Community is anywhere you can feel understood or belonging. Community can look be specific people or a specific place (like a Discord, Facebook group, a weekly special, a one time event).
Find inspiration. Search spoon theory on your favorite platform: TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. It often takes less spoons to research & scroll than it does to practice and retain new information. Pro tip: after you find a post, save it, find a way to remember it exists or implement it in the near future.
Consult with different healthcare domains. There are many overlapping conditions that can be contributing such as: nutritional deficiency, sleep conditions, ADHD, etc. When in doubt, ask your trusted provider about other areas that could be explored. If you don’t have a provider, ask your community.